Becoming a mother

Motherhood are some one special.
It is always said When you became a mother you will understand.
Now its true...it changes your life.
The hardship of era ini goes to the child's future.
I have always loved children and want to work with them.
Having my own from the day I conceived I couldn't wait to meet my lilone.
He is our joy and definitely some one i look forward to seeing each day.
I want to setup a playschool for toddlers and also some where babies can be placed not only to eat and sleep but also where They would be entertained.
Every child deserves be treated with excitement and joy.
With the help of an old time friend,this seems more possible.
She graduated from London in early childhood education and runs childcare plus kindergarten in Johor Bahru. 20 over tears of experience is great knowledge earn.
Hopefully this plan in Muar would be commencing soon.
I want to work on This Even more with the existence of my #lilbub

37 weeks with all the baggage

I would say my pregnancy is pretty smooth.
Although there was some complications in the first 3months,
But I m so stress being home.
To stay home n face my grandparents everyday,
1forgets and has weak legs,
The other is pure irritating and ignorant.
I want to have. Normal life where I can speak to my parents normally without their attention half way onto my grandfather.
Both of them are busy,so busy and still have to attend to all other things..
I may sound selfish but wasting and seeing our life pass by doing nothing?
So I guess doesn't mean that people who have everything are always contented or happy?
Expecting my child soon and I just feel so exhausted but if I do not help to lookout,
My parents will...I can't stay with my husband because he is always on the run,
Sad huh?
I guess I choose this way and life, but everytime we meet I feel really happy like nothing matters anymore and even my baby jumps n kicks with excitement.
So much in my head yet it's inappropriate to express everything here,
Shall keep it and find a way to let it go..
God please guide me to being a better granddaughter ,daughter and even a wife.
I don't know what to do, I do not want to let this feeling harm my lil one.

What lies beneath

A life one goes through is unpredictable, there's no such things as a perfect person...
As nice a person can be there ought to be someone that person annoys.
People change for the better, I do not believe in an overnight change nor believe in changing due to what people say, unless of course it's relevant.
This past months wasn't easy for me especially,so much in my head.
Husband being far away, it's sad.
Thank god I have my family and to be living in a comfortable home.
However I don't think I live a normal life, grandparents lives with us.
It was full on attention once again since the maid left..
 If I ignore then my own mother would have to take the burden full on..
But sometimes I just come to a stage,don't care,go to bed.
Why is it seem so hard? Grandpa with dementia, hopefully grandmother will be better n play along.
I know I will work hard to have my own place to live one day,
How I wish husband has more time for me..
I feel lonely at times and don't know who to talk to.
Parents are there but it's so different.
I hope to give my child the best...
And some peace hopefully,
Allah please be with me and guide me in everything I do.
I want to do it well for my husband,child and family.

busybody, spy and just can't let it go

Life is about learning and moving on, when it's over.
It's not like you have to fret and tell the world about it...
Let it go and move on.
I live my life the way I want,who are you to say that it's all tied up?
Islam is a nice religion so are others but I choose to be a muslim,
why do people have to have a problem with that?
What do you mean no freedom?
life is about choices and how you want it to be,
so being  a christian,buddhist,taoism or what so ever has the freedom? to do what????????
Drinking alcohol? eating pork?
The contain of pork's bacteria never dies even when it's cooked in water at a 100 degrees so is that good?
Alcohol, really good? It is just doing bad to our bodies and killing your liver.
There's a reason why Islam forbid all these.
I don't see a bad to it.
And to pray 5times? it's to remind you that god exist ,to do good and a moment a few days a day to clear your head and it helps you stretch as well.
I am happy with my life, if u're not with yours don't say that mine is not...find your life and way to live.
Stop speaking of others when you yourself don't know what you're doing and always uncertain of things.
Make up your mind and live happily coz we live only once in a lifetime.

Feeling more challenged

I feel more challenged as time passes by with the amount of things needed to be done,really it is not easy.
I think of more than a person now,
it's to fit the situation of my lil one soon.
I hope all goes well and whatever decision I make is not too difficult for the future.
I have a pair of hands like others, it's about what I want and how I can do it.
What's going to be good?
What type of achievements am I aiming for?
It's hard to judge from not starting anything,
the next thing I want to do is start sewing small things
because it makes me happy :)

Fortunate

I went for lunch, as usual mostly by myself.
However today I decided to eat around the office area, I sat with two women.
They were a mother and daughter.
The shop was full and i thought why not just bump into this table.
I started talking as usual, the talkative me!
I found them both friendly, I spoke mostly to the mother.
She was very friendly as well and gave me advices for the little one.
After eating we all were leaving the table and she offered to pay for my meal.
It was a shock that I hardly knew her and she was going to pay for my meal.
I refused but she insisted , I was thankful.
There are still kind people on these earth I guess.

If just we can explain why...

Stated all over articles that cancer of the liver is among one of the most serious ones.
When a person is diagnosed it's normally at a late stage of the cancer because
cancer of the liver is one kind of cancer that has no symptoms until it has become serious.
I have heard of bedah makrifat that is done on patients with the islamic holy Quran.
I am not sure how real or true this is but many people i read over the internet seen it and some experienced. My dad on the other hand had his friend who went for the treatment at Shah Alam
with a man that is not a doctor but treated his friend.
Dad's friend had a bad back pain was operated and after the seal it was just a line.
What a miracle. I don't know what is done is halal /haram. However it's said that bedah batin is not the right way whereas bedah makrifat is the islam way, but I am uncertain.
I know that things we don't expect happens.
I read too that if there is no cure, god wouldn't have created something without a cure.
It's sometimes to let us feel alert and challenge ourselves.
Another thing could be to make people bond with one another.
I'll just keep praying, talking in a state of my own mind is a prayer to me.
Ofcourse in my actual praying sessions I will too.
Whoever who reads this people do pray along with me for the good health of my uncle.