CNY preparation

Everyone is coming over tonight....
so happy, i never looked forward to CNY or feel it was important.
but I am not sure why but this time I do...
when i think of it to have my grandpa around, it is so happy but when will we be able to celeb CNY like this again?
next year, would he still be around?
I hope, I hope.
This CNY is going to be meaningful for me.
As I write my tear roll down my cheeks.
Thank god for making me appreciate this CNY.
I finally understand why when I don't go back before parents felt sad.
Now i get it, i feel it.
I am sorry for the past and hopefully I can make it every chinese New Year in future.