Not easy being me

I wish that life was simple.
At least I try to make it simple.
But there are way too many obligations to follow to please.
I am just a nut a big one.
i should keep it all inside me.
I want to let go but I dont know how.
The only time we meet is on the weekends but I have other things that has to be done.
I got to take care of my grandfather.
He is suffering Alzheimer a disease that is really hard to understand.
He forgets and keeps repeating the same forever,same old questions and sometime even scolds you for no reason or accuse u of something in his mind happens but not.
It's stressful I can understand from my mum's side how she is feeling but also from my grandfathers side what he is feeling being followed all day by someone.
It's just a big stress and something no one understands.
I have very limited time to spend, I try to be a good person.
But i think I fail, i try to make most people happy but i guess I am not pleasing enough?
what should i do?
I am not good in anything at all.I am useless, just useless and no use to anyone accept when help is needed.
I am ignored, I need to talk to someone but I have no one.
Always occupied,hate the military,taking him away from me.
There is no time,for anything!!! NO LIFE.
Makes me more stress,i thought get a weekday job so i have the weekend, end up...taking care of my grandpa?????
how?
Until when do I have to go through this?
should i move on?
Get a house and live alone?
I don't even have a bed for heavens sake!
it's just pathetic to be in a place where I call home like that.
I need to scream my lungs out